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Trainees in the cycle response team go out and about on the streets, while Clare Anderson and Chris Doyle tend the victim of a DIY mishap. Phantom of the Telethon Roger suggests Stan hold a telethon to replace money lost in CIA budget cuts, but the spy takes all the credit for the idea, prompting his alien lodger to sabotage the event. The gang learns about the theory of evolution, and Cartman freezes himself, hoping to awaken when a games console is released. 15:10 V Festival - V Festival 2013: Saturday Live Live coverage of the music event held in Hylands Park in Chelmsford and Weston Park, Staffordshire. 20:00 The Story Of Mr Bean 21:00 South Park - Best Friends Forever Kenny manages to get his hands on the latest portable games console, but Cartman becomes jealous when the store runs out before he is served.
23:25 Random Acts Established artists and amateurs showcase their three-minute films, chosen for bold and original expressions of creativity. 12:00 Emmerdale - 6639 Long-running soap following the ups and downs of village life amid the rolling scenery of the Yorkshire Dales. 22:20 film erotici piu belli chat matrimoniale
The Big Bang Theory - The Bozeman Reaction Leonard and Sheldon's flat is burgled, so they work on a state-of-the-art security system in a bid to outwit any future would-be thieves. 00:00 Pagans and Pilgrims: Britain's Holiest Places - Caves Presenter and Welsh poet Ifor ap Glyn sets out to understand why religious urges can sometimes force people underground, and begins his journey at Lud's Church in Staffordshire. 20:00 Inside - Inside: Teen Lockdown Cameras go behind the bars of the maximum-security juvenile correctional facility in Pendleton, Indiana, which houses many of America's most dangerous young criminals. Also includes classic archive recipes as prepared by Rick Stein. 21:30 A to Z of World Music An alphabetical showcase highlighting the world's rich and diverse range of musical talent. 20:00 South Park - The Wacky Molestation Adventure Kyle's parents refuse to let him see a controversial rock band in concert, so he decides to get his own back by accusing them of child abuse. Comedy, starring David Hyde Pierce. Meanwhile, Jack is forced to reassess his teaching methods. 15:30 Rules of Engagement - Nature Calls The gang and Liz go on a weekend trip to enjoy the sights of the autumn. 08:30 Football Special - Chelsea v Aston Villa Chelsea v Aston Villa. As their time together comes to an end, father and son take a trip to the Caribbean in a fishing boat. Plus, former England rugby player Matt Hampson talks about the spinal injury that has left him paralysed from the neck down. 13:00 Everybody Loves Raymond - Security Robert contemplates leaving the police force to take up a job selling security systems, but the proposal receives a mixed reaction, leading to tense celebrations at his birthday party. Starring Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer. 21:00 Arrow - Dodger Oliver realises he has been spending too much time crimefighting and not enough time for himself, so he rectifies that immediately by borrowing a couple of Cupid's arrows and asking Detective McKenna Hall out on a date. Comedy Central Extra 08:00 The Story Of Mr Bean 09:00 Two and a Half Men - My Damn Stalker Charlie is forced to face his true feelings about Rose when she announces she is moving to London permanently.